The Dating Game For Those Over 50

When I first started dating my husband we were mere kids at 18 years of age, life was a whole lot easy then and all it involved was a note slipped to me in class to ask if I wanted to go to the pictures that night. This courtship was the real deal and lasted for nearly 22 years of married bliss, produced 2 wonderful kids who have now since left home.

As I lay in bed that morning I started to wonder what had happened in our lives to now be seated across the breakfast table to a complete stranger. Not strange in the peculiar way but strange as I didn’t know this person any longer. Any void in the marriage was filled with the kid’s activities and their friends, and this was all well and good while they lived at home and we lived with the mess, laughter and the constant stream of people that visited over the weekend or stayed as an overnight guest. We consoled the kids when they were having their own relationship problems or break ups, you could always count on us to answer the calls at night when they couldn’t find a cab and it was 3am.

But now they were gone and the silence was deafening. After inviting my husband to the many different interests that I had of my own over the years and have him knock me back I suppose in the end after so many knock backs I stopped asking. Hence we were living separate lives under the one roof. We had one of those serious talks that put things on the table to ask the hardest question of them all “do you still love me”? When someone takes an infinite amount of time to consider the answer you will already know your answer.

We grew apart and we were like friends sharing an apartment even the sex had dwindled to nothing. At the time it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do and that was to leave the life that I had known for 22 years and walk away to start a new life.

After a time of mourning I started a program for myself looking at my diet (as I had put on a few pounds over the years), learning Pilates and learning how to be me again. This was all done over a period of 8 weeks, I lost weight got my confidence back and was ready to throw myself back out there but where do you go to meet anyone, I did not want to find the love of my life I was more interested in the company of someone when I was to go out for a dinner or an occasional movie.

Hints and tips for dating 2010

• Forget friends that want to pair you off with just the right guy who would be perfect for you…I got that a lot and if it was at friends place for dinner every eye at the table would be focused on me and the person that was lined up for me. Usually this would end with just with polite conversation.

• What I found is the internet but you will definitely need to be wary. How it works is that you write a little bit of an introduction about yourself giving your likes and dislikes. Get a friend to read it over as you maybe a little blunt and the friend will tone it down so it doesn’t look like a shopping list!

• Make sure you ask for a current photo as I have liked the appearance online of a gentleman and admired his slim appearance and full head of hair for a guy of his age only to later meet for coffee looking for a man whose photo was on the net only to be met by a fat bald man who didn’t resemble the photo at all – the photo was at least 10 years old.

• Always meet out in the open so in fact you will do a lot of coffee in the early days of getting to know each other. Sometimes it is only the once as there is no click factor there at all.